Secret

Have been quite unhappy over home matters over this week . And hell its exam and i have no idea why am i jeopardizing my happiness and affecting my "exam" mood . Hmm , i admit i USED to be a rather negative person . Insecurities . Flaws . Grades . Friends . Relationships .
In short , i really wasnt a happy me . And i was losing a integral part of myself .
BUT .
I have learned that i should be in control of my happiness . No one can make you feel unhappy / dejected / upset UNLESS you allow them to . Happiness does not take a lot of hard work , but it definitely needs to be worked on .
So , what was i actually unhappy about in the past ?
Okay to be honest , i was really conscious about my weights and looks years ago . I used to be overweight since young .. Till secondary school . And that was then i really hate teasings . I cried a lot during those period too hahaha . But eventually , i managed to snap out of it . *TWISTS*

And indeed , i guess i really felt better . At least i felt pleasant about myself . Initially , i started to pen down my thoughts in a diary . I started running . Running really allows me to clear my mind , giving me fresh air and fortitude . I felt invigorated and much healthier . Things became to change for me . No commitments to plans . But a commitment to self .
And i recently came across this > "If you think you are fat , you are and you will act accordingly ."
I guess its really true . See , its a mind and psychology thing , your thoughts lead to actions and reality .
Losing weight is definitely not a easy task . ITS NOT EASY . Not easy without jabs , surgery , drugs . And its not a miracle thing . Hopes without actions wont make you a thinner person overnight . Its more like a mental game. A test of endurance of your willpower and perseverance .  And below is what i've read , and i found it impressive .
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"I employed The Secret to lose weight , putting into universe that i was attracting better health . I told the universe ' I continue to attract my optimum weight , Whatever weight that is , that's what i am attracting . The best weight for my body ' Then i started envisioning my thin self . I thought up of slogans , mantra and Jeri-isms like "Food is not my friend . Food is not my comforter , nor it is my confidante .It does not sing to me or give my wisdom . It is just food . AND IM MORE POWERFUL THAN FOOD " "
- Jeri Chrysong
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How inspiring is that ? Hahaha . A quote from an essay given by my tuition teacher .

And i would really like to try this out . And im confident that i will succeed in losing maybe some weight . I look back at my old photos now and im glad that i make it happen . Im glad that im out of it .

The Usual Friday !

Its gonna be a boring blog post so I posted some pictures.  Hahaha ok to be honest. Whenever I get bored studying , I will wear my geek specs and take some stupid pictures. AND EDIT IT MUAHAHAH.

So im left with two days of revision. Actually I feel like just chionging for preliminary exams. Im quite slack for this MYE. Haizzz... But nvm!  Its not like I have wasted the whole holiday!  Hehehe.

Btw. This is one annoying fact. Whenever I wear the Ngee Ann Poly shirt out , I will definitely see at least ONE person wearing it too. Well its not like im the only one who can wear it. The most annoying is, when I dont wear it out , I didn't see anyone wearing it too. Hahaha. Ok shall keep it for home wear ! Stop the ranting. Hahaha.

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HAPPY

WHO SAYS MONEY CANT BRING YOU HAPPINESS? 

Hahaha. Thankful and happy today because I have two new friends! 

Hahaha. Yes they are my water bottle and bag.

Have been spending almost $200 this june holidays. Bras, shorts , bags, shoes, clothes essentials and everything. Hahahah.

Our eyes are attracted to pretty things don't they ?

Thankful that I got new things. ^^ . Even though they are from my own pocket.. but. This means that I will cherish them more since I paid for them?  Right. Hahaha.

Money does bring you happiness!  ^^ .

Actually im secretly working on The Secret. Dk why must secretly. Hahaha anyways. Some of my friends have started to embark on this too. Happy for them because I like to see people with positive attitude.

Though im sort of the opposite.  Hahaha.

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Devil

Distractions. Distractions. Distractions.

Cant study effectively at home because too hot. Cant study effectively at library because too cold. WHAT IS THIS. #BadLuckMe

Okay I shall be thankful that at least i have somewhere to study. Hahaha.

But library will allow me to stay on tasks , most of the time. Unless someone decides to talk to me. Hahahah.

Study at home = search for food, go twitter , go read blogs, go online shopping, and this >>> Suddenly think of a song and insists to sing finish before I continue with my tasks. Hahahahahahahaha WHAT IS THIS.

OKAY I SHALL BE BACK TO MY DESK. My commitment to it. :') . I see her more than I see myself.

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Courage

Cant sleep. Again.

Okay. So father's day passed. And I didn't have the courage to even thank my father

They say " Everyone can be a father. It takes something special for one to be a daddy "

TRUE.

<u>BUT</u> much as I cant get along well with him, I guess the least he deserve is a wish from me?

But I didn't. I ponder. And think its too mushy. So I gave it up. We didn't even mention anything about father's day. Not even a single word. I wonder if my father know that today is his day. Do he?

Do he think that we have forgotten about this day?

Or that we cant even be bothered about this day?Or.....

I really want to know what he thinks. Tell me what my father is thinking !!!

I wonder how many father days im left with , how many opportunities to have some memories etched on this day. As we grow up , our parents grow old. They say death is inevitable. But I really dont know what to do when my parents are gone. Especially my mum.

Thank God, you gave me a perfect mum. Maybe it was because of my relationship with my father which caused me to love and appreciate my mum more. Thankyou.

Okay I shall stop talking about parents before it gets too emotional.

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Im really tired. But I cant sleep . Argh. So now , I should talk about myself. We make decisions , choices every day. Someone said we are the choices we made. I believe in that. Whatever decisions is gonna affect you, in some ways or another. Sometimes we think a lot after decisions are being made. Yes we definitely do. But remember , whatever choices you have made. Dont regret them. Because it was what you want at that point of time.

-From a quote that is relatively related.

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To the one who gave me life.

Yes, father day is approaching. No plans. We never have plans. Is it because father day to me is not significant enough?  Perhaps.

We cant choose our parents. So rather than blaming and complaining, I accept it.

We all have flaws, I do , so does my parents.

We do have times that we dont get along pretty well.

But for my father and I , I guess I gave up trying. Trying to build a loving and warm relationship , trying hard not to be disrespectful to each other.

Well it seems to be a natural caring and giving relationship that holds normal dad and daughter together , it seems more like a challenge to both of us. Its getting more and more tiring. We dont see to each other eyes. Sometimes its getting way to tense up, that I dont even bother trying to understand the core of matter / argument. Let it be.

Yes some things can be change , if you are willing to try. But what about things that cant change no matter how much you try ?

For example , people have allergies to certain food products. Its in them. No matter how much you try to treat it,  can you?  All you could do is to avoid the food that caused you to have allergy.

Its the same here. Yes behaviors, habits , personalities can be changed. What about someone's character?  Something that is already in him / her. You are someone who is very particular in manners and etiquette. Will you be able to accept someone who hurls vulgarities always?  Someone who is poorly lacking of social etiquette?  

So,  back to it. My father and I just dont get along well because of our differences. Huge differences. Something that I find it a chore to change and suit each other. He cant do it, neither can I.

Let it be.

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The oven. The lock. The heart.

Okay. So 4 hours ago was a mini trauma that took place in the kitchen. Prepared for the series drama of june? Here it goes.

So actually it all starts with my fight with brother last night. Over some bugs. Cant stand his gayness and overwhelmed sense of timidness. And so I intended to wake up earlier than him to grab breakfast in the kitchen. Or else he would start fighting with me over food again. AGAIN. So my plan succeeded.  I woke up early. Roasted some chicken in the oven in hope to enjoy a glorious and bright morning with wraps - topped up with parmeasan and sliced cheese, fresh lettuce and cripsy chicken chunks.

And so the chicken is in the oven.. In the midst of preparing lettuce, I went to check on the chicken. A nasty habit of mine. ALWAYS like to check sth in the oven when the roasting time is not up, which means , the switch is still on.  

And so, the moment I check on the oven. What greeted me wasn't hot crispy chunky sizzling chicken.

BUT A STH that exploded with white fumes at the side of the oven.

Reminded me of the incident that happened in 4e1 eariler this year. When classmates poked some lead inside the plug. And leading to some mini explosion.

The one that happened in my kitchen was something not so dangerous. But definitely empowered to cause harm, if my face was inches nearer to the oven. Thank God man. Was saved again.

At the spur of the moment I thought all possible consequence was just - the dumb oven scared the shit out of me and now its spoilt. Bye sucker.  BUT I WAS WRONG,  very very wrong.

So my brother who was sleeping yelled at me I switch of his fan. Back in my head Im like > Dafug I have yet to recover from the mini stupor and now someone is blastering and clamouring at me?!!!!!!!

But.... it eventually sank to me that.... the electricity has been cut off.  My physics instincts reminded me to check out the ELCB board. Happily went storeroom , check all mains and turned back the ELCB switch. Thinking that I could get back at that ass for shouting at me.

But nothing happened. Electricity not back. Brother woke up. Started hurling scoldings at me. Well it all starts from me. Fine, I didn't retailiate. I got panic. Left to figure out whats wrong. Called mom. Called father. They told me I should check the MCB outside the house. Got my neighbours but realised that the lock to main electricity and MCB is Bloody hell locked.  WHY?  #BadLuckMe x 2.

So just gotta wait for parents to be back. Tried using pliers and hammers to break the lock. Tried using all keys to open the electricity switch lock. Because I happily assume its that.

DIDNT TRIED THE MCB ONE.

So my mother came home. Used hammer and broke the lock on electricity. The switch is not down. SO ITS THE MCB.

Tried breaking lock of it for 15 mins. And realised I didn't even try to use keys to unlock it. So I tried and it opened, successfully.

#BadLuckMe x 3

Got mum back to resolve everything and took away her half day leave. Just to realise everything could be solved if I really did bother to us the keys to open the MCB lock. Why didn't I? I only knew how to assume. How to snatch food. Cry during stupid times when I shouldn't. 

Anyways. Heres what I learnt.

1 . Its important. Really. Not to lock all those important stuffs.  Imagine, if theres a fire. Are u gonna to rummage for the keys and try to retrieve all your impt documents. Which eventually lead to inability to escape because the fire is growing too big ? Think. Well I do understand for privacy and safety reasons people use locks to safeguard their items. Know what to lock and what not to.

2. Think. No use to cry and panic. Which doesn't even lead to anything. If I bother to check the MCB, i will be more than glad to be able to solve this myself.

3. Be thankful. Be thankful I am safe. Phew.

Okay I think,  when I recall and read this post again. Its gonna be a recollection of mixed memories .

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Trip !

Trip to thrift shop part 2 .
With Song En , Wei Teck , Kelvin .   ^-^
Argh some photos are just getting missing .. :( . Hmm , nvm as long as i have them in my camera . Actually thought that i could post decent upright post with all those pictures .. But its too troublesome and i dont have the time ~ . So there we go !

Gah my camera shakes ** Cant capture the gay moment of him smiling and holding to a gay bag . 

What do girls do there ?? Hmm...

Lost bear club and look what we've found ! *SCROLLS* 

Poor yellow thing ! Are u a small little evolved hybrid bear ??

Make me angry and i will treat you this !

What i told songen > "This background very nice leh , must take !!"

What do you think ?

Presenting you a series of my work ... and probably some of song en's .

All-time favourite

I think im becoming more and more like a mad / compulsive shopper.

I get things that I LIKE, not what I really need.

I find it dumb, but I actually do such things. If I come across sth cheap, I will get 2 pieces of it. Normally applies to clothings. Because '  I MIGHT like it so much I wear it everytime, then it expands blablabla ' SO its always safer to buy 2 pieces.

Actually I have the courage to bore such thoughts is probably due to my mindset. Hahaha if I dont really need the second piece , I can give out as birthday present / sell at my blogshop. So no undue worries.

HOWEVER. Above analogy only applies to online shopping (most of the time ) , and if the item is really cheap. Like for example, $4.50 for a hoodie that I love. So , why not ?

Its good to pamper and love yourself sometimes. Dont get to stingy and sticky with $ . As long as you are happy, to some extent , go ahead and enjoy. ^^ .

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Day out.

Tiring day today. Went to salvation army. The journey was quite short, but thanks to the sorchy weather , it got me sweating profusely. And if you notice (OH I realise u cant see) , im wearing a long sleeve batwing top. And the ugly thing about it is , the cloth does not touches your armpit. And your sweat is free to linger down.... down... and down.... The feeling is inexplicably irritating. Hahah, and you will try to wipe the sweat. That is , use your hands and pretend to cup under your armpit. Ok, getting gross. Tehee.

So today, I was punctual!  Hehehe. Undoubtedly songen was the earliest. And Auntie chew came last. Almost throw eggs at him. XD.  But hes under my mercy, for im always kind and benevolent. Hahaha. Ok, the best part is, none of us got any loots from there. I wonder how bongqiuqiu manage to buy quite nice stuffs from there. Hmm, she live up to her name ~ .

Lunch was subway. Quite yummy. And I was convinced to add on the cookie for $1. Which means $1 in exchange for 194773 calories and sugars. Unjustified. Hahaha ok stop ranting. I just cant resist temptations. Blame who HUH.

And after that I bought a bata flats for $5 ! BOHO STYLE. Jealous?  Hahah. This is justified because I queued 30 mins.  Want complain ? Hahaha. And 4 productive hours in library with wt and Kelvin!  Hehehe nice day out. And tomorrow too ! Will post my loots soon! 

Wait for me! 

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Siblings.

I was too busy to update the pictures for class outing. Probably will do it soon.

Btw ,talking about siblings. I have an asshole brother. By asshole I really meant big fuck asshole. I sure do admire people who have good relationship with their siblings. Well mine sucks.

He ALWAYS snatches food with me. And hes so rude sometimes I just cant get rid of that visual image of dying to kill him inside my mind. Because I have never ever seen someone being so ungentleman. Yes , I believe a guy should never hit a girl , let alone using vulgarities and being rude a girl. Ain't guys supposed to be mature and at the bottom least , being understanding ? Im sorry if im stereotyping but these are qualities which a guy should possess to be a GOOD MAN. If u are not , call yourself an asshole.

But I do agree im writing this in a fit of anger (ARGH) , and Im really thinking that asshole brother of mine. Enough said.

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Class Outing

Im really glad I have real and nice classmates. Proud to say that I really love this class more than my sec1 and sec2 class.

I like how girls and boys can cross boundaries and bond with one another. Probably its because everyone has grown up.

I like how I dont really feel restrained and conscious infront of my classmates. I always restrict myself(I realise) just to make sure people dont have the ugly perception of me. I love how I can be myself with my class girls.

I love how teachers can mix with us ,like we are just friends.

I love how different races come together and have fun.

Therefore I really look forward to every class outing. And really have to thank this girl, songen. ^^ .

Thankyou for always putting in effort to organise every event. I guessed we would not be so bonded if not for her. Thankyou!  <3 . If you are reading this.

Shall post pictures tomorrow ! ^^ . Today is a happy day. ^^

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