Extraordinary

Today feels inspirational.
I witnessed a very rare sight today.
Sitting at the far deserted corner of the cafe , I saw the chemistry shared by two individuals , who are both deaf and mute. I saw how they communicated and shared stories with one another. Initially , I was worried how the staff would communicate with them and they might probably give the staff a hard time. To my surprise , it was rather them who gave the staff assurance. They patiently flipped the pages and pointed to the staff what they wanted. After that , they continued to communicate enthusiastically with sign language. That image is vividly seared in my mind. Their natural in capability did not became their limitations and it never hinder them to live normal lives like how normal people do. To me , I felt that that was highly respectable and remarkable . I believe you would be as amazed and impacted as I was if you had witnessed that scene . I was quietly observing their key of communication. They smiled and made kind gestures to express thoughts which could not be expressed by words. Then again , I pondered how does it feels to live a life like theirs. I imagined how helpless and curious I would be if I were brought to this world to be deprived of my fundamental abilities . I could not hear beautiful melodies and the sound of music . I could not speak , sing and even express myself like how others do. It feels scary and daunting . Hence , this makes the lives of theirs more encouraging to others.
And I learnt something today. :)

About me

I am back , once again ! I am really busy this week . Just came back from Malaysia after attending cousin's wedding. Tried Pedicure for the first time and i really loved the drawings the ladyboss did for me ! I paid the RM30 very willingly because the service was really good . It's been days and nothing fades , yet . Did my hair for the wedding and it looks like ...3 big and black caterpillars . Went to Ktv again and i had went to sing karaoke for consecutive two days . But i like it . Yes i love to sing . ^-^

Anyways ,  It's good to meet up with my dearest sisters and to know that we are all doing well , I hope. When I was young , I loved December the most. I waited and anticipated the arrival of this month because I can't wait to meet my cousins in Malaysia. I hate to return to singapore because I knew that I would only be able to see them again after another dreadful year . I once asked my mum why didn't she decide to stay in Malaysia. Why wasn't I born there ? I was very close to my cousins , even closer than best friends , even though we only get to see each other once a year. I am really thankful for this , good relationship and kinship doesn't come easy. I am thankful to know that I have people to call my ' Family '.

As we grow up , our thoughts and perspectives change . We find our outlooks in life experiencing a change , too. We began to discover and realize things that are important to us , things that we want to achieve and accomplish. Meeting up is important but not that looked forward to as compared to the olden days . As we move on , we might be progressing into another phase of life. Some of my cousins are having steady and happy relationships with their partners.  Honestly , I am really happy for them because I know they have found their happiness. However , I am also equally aware that we might have lesser time to spend with each other as they settle down and look into marriage blablabla. Anyways , this is life. Eventually , we find that we all have a life to live . Face it , there are times when you need to face the world alone . :)

Got to know a few people this week . I am grateful that i met really good people and we can hit off pretty well. But there are also unfriendly ones who never fails to chat and laugh with everyone else and shows me a black face . -.- Fine it's up to you anyways and i can live without an uncle as a friend , seriously .

  

This post is getting boring without pictures so i posted one picture of my loots .. from online . Shall catch some sleep now . In case if you are wondering why are there different paragraphs illustrating different moods , It's actually because i have typed them in separate days using my phone , and compile them together today . 

A beautiful sunday

Why is my sunday beautiful ? Because i was out with my mum . ^-^ . 
As i grew older and my mum aged , the time we spend together is slowly decreasing . I guess this is common for many of you around my age . 
So anyways , we went to Singapore Expo first for Sitex Show . Went there because i wanted to buy a laptop . Quite thankful that my cousins were with me to help me to sieve out all the ideal ones as we were given a lot of brochures . Bought one eventually and i am actually blogging with it now . My typing speed is being challenged tremendously because i am not used to the keyboard and the keys are really widely spaced. 
This post is really boring because i just wanted to test out the typing experience on this new laptop . Ain't really fascinating though , back to my books . ^^ 
Bye ! 

Updates!

The most beautiful decorated corner of my room . I actually bought floral designed cloths to match with all the accessories box and the accessories . My efforts , and money are paid off right ?

This few weeks have been ... Boring. 

Can't find a job that suits me and I am always at home , trying to master something , watching dramas , singing and talking to the wall. Well it sure sounds lonely and yes , I am waking up every day to greet myself ' good afternoon ' and then I will remain silent for the next 12 hours until a single soul appears in the house. 

Okay it's actually not that depressing and boring , I will find ways to enrich my live , and to live fruitfully , I hope. 

PROM NIGHT 

Sadly i didn't really take photos with anyone because we left early . To be frank , I don't really like the food served . The emcee wasn't really engaging and the flow of programs was sort of .. boring . I felt that during that few hours , the emcee filled it with whimsical rambling and uninteresting jokes . OK i should stop here because i am already criticizing it . Nonetheless , i know it takes effort and hard work to plan and organise this event . I did enjoy the company of friends and classmates , which was actually more important than the logistics and programmes . 

Geez i can never take a proper photo with her . -.-

The chicken head .

That's all i have ! ^-^

Then i went out with cousins and friends on seperate occasions .

Again , my beloved sisters . They are growing up very fast and i really had fun bringing my cousin to children arcade . We played quite fun games and it evoked some of my childhood memories . Of course mine were not as interesting as her , for she had the pleasure to enjoy the company of her loving cousins . Hehe . 

After catching Ah Boys To Men . The movie was quite interesting and unsurprisingly , the air rang with peals of laughter (mostly eldery who were fascinated by the actors' humor ) . However , i was reminded that the movie had no particular storyline , just a long film to show and illustrate life in NS . Nevertheless , I am still going to catch the part 2 . 

Birthday Gathering !

Went to the library to borrow some books and spent some time at the pasar malam , which i supposed that it is quite similar to street markets in taiwan and other countries , just that our markets were not situated along roads . This picture shows a person shooting some toys . Not really sure of how to win them exactly but .. it kind of reminded me of some memories of the old Pasar Malam that existed when i was much younger . The games then were much simpler and less advanced . Simple shooting games and fishing games will draw crowds and fuel children's appeal . I was actually quite surprised to find this game stall that brings back people's past time memories . 

Courage

Courage. 
I guess all of us need courage to face up with a lot of things. Things that are unavoidable , things that can't be denied , things that will remain to haunt us until we decide to face it. I really understand why people choose to run away from problems and troubles. It's not because they don't know how to solve it , but rather because they are afraid to face it. 

It's easier said than done. Yes I have told people how to stand up for who they are and to face their doubts with courage . I guess many of us have comforted friends with worries and uncertainties , but when we find ourselves in the exact same situation , we realize it isn't easy after all. 

Why ? We are all humans and we tend to get our emotions and feelings involved very easily. It's not easy to say that we can go ahead with our decisions despite knowing that we will hurt someone's feelings. Most importantly , we are afraid to get hurt. We are afraid that we would not be able to accept the outcome , we are worried that things will not turn out to be how we wanted it to. We are scared that we will only have ourselves to deal with the outcome.

Most of the time , reality is harsh and It is hard for many of us to accept . It is not because we don't know how to but , we don't want to . 

For example , a woman found out that her husband is having an extramarital affair . She sure knows that she has many solutions . She can choose to divorce with her husband or to forgive him (That being the most common solutions ) . However , she will have to consider how her decision will affect her , her loved ones and people around her . She will have to deal with the consequences of her decision , no matter which solution she chose . Thus , it is not that she do not know how to solve it , but most of the time , she will have to muster her courage to accept the devastating reality , prepare herself for the consequences . Most importantly , she will have to face the problem with courage .

Of course , this is a simplified example and is somehow limited because of my experience (mainly from shows and dramas) . 

This sure sounds gloomy and troubling but I am not. It is just some of my thoughts. 

What hurts the most

What hurts the most ?

Not being trusted.

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Clouds

Isin't it hard to believe that half of our exams are over ? It's even harder to believe that O level is going to be over soon .. Anyways , i guess everyone has been waiting for last thursday , which was the end of the last major paper . I really felt a surge of relief because i can finally relax . Its hard to believe that this year is so busy , so busy that i don't even have time to do what i want . Plans have been pushed back continuously to accommodate the typical "secondary four student" schedule  . This reminds me that there is a need for me to plan my holidays . Again , this reminded me of a post i posted nine months ago about my plans aft exams . The most significant one is .... to organise a charity spree . I am not sure if i will go back to setting up a blogshop , but i will have some other plans to make sure i am going to fulfill what i promised myself to . 

Anyways , went out with some friends on friday . It is then that i realise that i haven't been really  "shopping" on the streets this year . Again ... Priorities . Really enjoyed that day because we talked a lot of stuffs and i guess everyone's leg is aching because we walked for ... 6 hours ? Thankfully i could still upload photos from my phone . So technology hasn't been really cruel to someone who can't be accustomed to its pace . Thank you . 

Seems like we are back to the really young days .

 Don;t you think the yellow plushies are cute ???

Today

Today marks the end of major exams . In reality it is another start of 2 weeks to prepare for three papers . 

But i shall have fun first !

Anyways , got a new phone and ..... face so much troubles using it . No wonder the government always encourages people to constantly upgrade their skills . This is greatly exemplified in my case because i actually cant rely on myself to get things done on my phone without the help of others . However , i tried to load songs into my phone and this time it was not my bad , but the ever evolving technology . I dont know whether to blame my computer for being too obsolete or to blame my phone for being too advanced . Earlier on , i just can't get my phone to sync and i was raging mad . Actually i whipped up this reason to account to myself that it wasn't me . YES it wasn't my stupidity  . 

So anyways , i realised how much the improvement in technology has greatly impacted our lifestyle . It has made people redundant and it really seems that no one can live without it these days . Talking about spontaneous mutations due to the radiation we are getting , i am really wondering how long we will get to live in this beautiful world .  

Alright short update and bye !

Stop putting high hopes on me. I might just fall and let all of you down.

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Today

A summary of a hectic day.

Went to recontract hoping to get my desired phone but its oos. Thats okay,but freaking hell I was served by a guy at singtel , and honestly I really disliked his replies. Seemed like he was treating me like some idiot who doesn't know about everything. Hey if I did know about what u should know , we should be exchanging places , shouldn't we ? And I promise I wouldn't let anyone have a bad impression of me IF I were you.

Okay chill.

Perhaps the only thing good about today was.....  my neighbour smiled at me !! Ok this sound real childish but this neighbour of mine is ..... (charming is the word...) , though a bit older than me. To make myself sounds more like me , I am just gonna say that..... I hope to see him in lift real often.

Ok bye! 

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Enough is enough.

So frustrating .

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You

Its affecting me so much and I cant suppress this.

Yes this time round, this final time , I know its impossible for me to shrug it off and scuff away as if nothing has happened.

You have no idea how much hurt you are causing to us as a whole. I feel for them but I know I can do nothing about it. Yes I have already given up on you. How many times have I tried to tell myself that it was okay? 

Alright for u to behave like this, nothing wrong for u to treat people like this, and to even tell myself that u deserve their forgiveness without a single apology.

I know that I am not perfect, we do make mistakes and misjudgement at times but your attitude Isint helping at all.

Have you tried to even mend it ? Didn't you realise its pointless to be persistently arguing for your stand without a single consideration for others ?

Do you know how much I wanted to look up at you and be proud of you?  But you are depriving me of every chance I have to respect you.

Do you think I like how things are like now ? And I really hate to post such things here but I really want to get them out.

And oh yes,  when was the last time we talked? 

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Kbox + Graduation !

Kbox day we Song En 2 weeks ago . The one who sings beautifully with me too . We shared a lot of things in common too hahaha . Especially work experiences . Honestly i really love going kbox with her and three hours are never enough .



I've graduated .
This period in unity sec is another fulfilling phase of my life . I am really thankful , for the friends that i've made and to the teachers who selflessly cared for us . Well of course i am happy that i have FINALLY graduated , but at the same time i feel a little upset because i have always dislike separations . Anyways , i really love my class and how we bonded in some ways or others . Though we may not be classmates or even keep in contact in the near future , we once shared beautiful and cherished moments that i will never forget . People told me that that few years in secondary school were the most enjoyable time of their lives , and i guess it applies to me too . The future may seem uncertain for some of us but i believe that we all have something beautiful waiting for us . Let us all cherish our last week of secondary school life together and leave this school fruitfully . :) .


Cards i have made for friends and the cards i received . I love reading handwritten cards . Because every card is beautiful , and will always be . Hahaha . Reading some of the messages inevitably made me think of the good old times and those memories we shared . Some of us may not be as close as we used to , but again i will never forget those things we did together and those memories that were left behind . They were an integral part of me .

There are also good  friends whom i will never forget because we just seem to be too close and bonded . And those moments that we once shared were too many for me to even neglect any part of it . (That's actually a lie because i am quite forgetful... ) . But anyways , I would like to say i would not be who i am today if not for you guys . We endured moments of frustration , anger and anxiety towards one another . We shared the happiest , the most fruitful and fulfilling moments together . We went through the most demanding , tiring and tough camps together .  I am really thankful to the CCA i had which made us closer . A pat on the back or a simple smile from you guys reminded me how closely knitted we are , and i know we will always be . We are not the perfect four and will never be , but we are beautiful and we will always be . As we part our ways and move on to another interesting phase of our lives , please do remember the moments we once shared and the changes we had witnessed in everyone of us . Passing of time wears down everything but memories and it is also capable of showing how great friendship is .   "Friends are angels who lift you up to your feet when your wings have trouble remembering 'how to fly ' " . Crippled  wings doesn't matter for i know you guys will always be there . Thank you for those beautiful footprints you all left in me .

The lovely ones

I was looking at past photos in my phone and surprisingly, I found quite a number of photos that were taken with the small little ones. 

Honestly I really love kids. They always look lively , enthusiastic and jovial . Being with them makes things look a lot simpler. But for the recalcitrant ones... hmm stay away from me. Hahaha. Hmm alright kids are supposed to me a little mischievous and naughty right? But I really prefer calmer ones. 

I have a fair share of taking care of babies and toddlers because my mum was a nanny few years back. That beautiful girl is called yu xuan . She stayed with us for five years and I truly understand how fulfilling it can be to see a new life progressing , from a small baby to toddler to a young girl. I would be lying if i'd say the whole journey was a happy one. Of course there will be unhappy incidents, and on rare occasions I would really be mad at her. For digging a hole in the pages of my books , playing around with facial creams and getting herself into a big mess, snatching my clothes and pulling my hair. Etc.. 
She is a whirlwind in motion. A moment she will be at the living room watching dora , and the next moment she will be at the kitchen enthusiastically playing with the utensils. She would scream at the top of her voices whenever she was challenged. She would stand with her arms akimbo and debate with her facts . 
But whatever she does , she never fails to make me smile . I wasn't a really happy girl when i was in primary school but somehow , she is everywhere whenever i was sad back then . Kids are really a blessing . :)

On top of all that , I would say this journey is a fruitful one. And I am really glad to be able to be a part of her early journey. :) . I love kids ! 


So today she actually popped up at my doorstep ! I was really overwhelmed with happiness and surprised because they didn't call us before coming . I got to see my two lovelies and i just felt like hugging them and never let go . Today is a beautiful day as much as it intended to be . Seeing the two of them growing up and taking a step at a time makes my role as a sister more fulfilling . I just feel so contented , please grow up and be a good girl like me . :) . \

"Im showing you the good stuffs in mama's bag ! "

 "Yes i am coming , just a minute !!!"

"I am forced into this . :( but i still look cuter than jiejie . :)  "

Beautiful

About me

Its the end of prelims ! And sadly , the next exam timetable is O level's one !
I really hope its gonna be over soon . I have a lot of things waiting for me after this major exam !
Somehow i hope that i will be blessed with green fingers because i want to plant plants after O's . My mum just told me there are white roses . Its a bit unbelievable because i have not seen any *real white roses before . Whatever it is , i am gonna get a few beautiful potted plants or grow something out of something .

Went to see doctor again yesterday and each time i am given different medicine . And i have been on medication for more than a month . I actually thought it was impossible for me to recover fully . I can't describe the feeling . When you are really losing hope and faith and you feel that nothing is going to help . I could have recover long time ago if it did , right ? I hate to talk about this to close friends or even family members , somehow i just feel like some annoying person who keeps harping on the same thing over and over again . So i chose to write it here . I dont know how long more i have to write or when i can finally pen down my last post about this  . I am someone who really hates to take medicine . Even if i have headache or fever , i would rather wait for it to be unbearable than to ingest all those chemicals . But in the end i always ended up eating medicines . So its really hard for me to accept that i have to continue to take medicine daily and i don't know when is it gonna end . Argh . Its annoying to even think about the money i have wasted .. My doctor is expecting that i will be fully recovered soon . Soon ? When is soon ? 1 week ? 2 weeks ? 3 weeks ? I really hope that i will be okay before my major exam . Alright i am ok , just need to get this out !  

These few weeks

Everyone has a life to live.

A man could be starving at some shattered corners in a country and another man could be gorging on food. As you read this ,someone may be on the verge of death and some others could have been given a new leash of life. Someone may be sobbing and tearing while others are saturated with happiness, and they are beyond cloud nine.

We all have different lives , different living conditions. Sometimes I find myself comparing with others , what I could have , what i should have and what I shouldnt be going through. My mother always reminds me to be contented. Its useless to compare because there is a bottomless pit of desires and wants. Who is defined as the best and the most ideal?

The pictures are some food I tried at KL long time ago. Because I just wanted to post some photos. Talking about food, I am really losing my appetite . No spicy food. No dry and hard food ,cutting my intake of oily and salty food. Recently I discovered that tauhuey is really nice. Its really soft and sweet . I wonder how long more this have to last. Seriously , i am troubling over what to eat every day. Please let this be over real soon so that i can eat yummy food !

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