Kbox + Graduation !

Kbox day we Song En 2 weeks ago . The one who sings beautifully with me too . We shared a lot of things in common too hahaha . Especially work experiences . Honestly i really love going kbox with her and three hours are never enough .



I've graduated .
This period in unity sec is another fulfilling phase of my life . I am really thankful , for the friends that i've made and to the teachers who selflessly cared for us . Well of course i am happy that i have FINALLY graduated , but at the same time i feel a little upset because i have always dislike separations . Anyways , i really love my class and how we bonded in some ways or others . Though we may not be classmates or even keep in contact in the near future , we once shared beautiful and cherished moments that i will never forget . People told me that that few years in secondary school were the most enjoyable time of their lives , and i guess it applies to me too . The future may seem uncertain for some of us but i believe that we all have something beautiful waiting for us . Let us all cherish our last week of secondary school life together and leave this school fruitfully . :) .


Cards i have made for friends and the cards i received . I love reading handwritten cards . Because every card is beautiful , and will always be . Hahaha . Reading some of the messages inevitably made me think of the good old times and those memories we shared . Some of us may not be as close as we used to , but again i will never forget those things we did together and those memories that were left behind . They were an integral part of me .

There are also good  friends whom i will never forget because we just seem to be too close and bonded . And those moments that we once shared were too many for me to even neglect any part of it . (That's actually a lie because i am quite forgetful... ) . But anyways , I would like to say i would not be who i am today if not for you guys . We endured moments of frustration , anger and anxiety towards one another . We shared the happiest , the most fruitful and fulfilling moments together . We went through the most demanding , tiring and tough camps together .  I am really thankful to the CCA i had which made us closer . A pat on the back or a simple smile from you guys reminded me how closely knitted we are , and i know we will always be . We are not the perfect four and will never be , but we are beautiful and we will always be . As we part our ways and move on to another interesting phase of our lives , please do remember the moments we once shared and the changes we had witnessed in everyone of us . Passing of time wears down everything but memories and it is also capable of showing how great friendship is .   "Friends are angels who lift you up to your feet when your wings have trouble remembering 'how to fly ' " . Crippled  wings doesn't matter for i know you guys will always be there . Thank you for those beautiful footprints you all left in me .

The lovely ones

I was looking at past photos in my phone and surprisingly, I found quite a number of photos that were taken with the small little ones. 

Honestly I really love kids. They always look lively , enthusiastic and jovial . Being with them makes things look a lot simpler. But for the recalcitrant ones... hmm stay away from me. Hahaha. Hmm alright kids are supposed to me a little mischievous and naughty right? But I really prefer calmer ones. 

I have a fair share of taking care of babies and toddlers because my mum was a nanny few years back. That beautiful girl is called yu xuan . She stayed with us for five years and I truly understand how fulfilling it can be to see a new life progressing , from a small baby to toddler to a young girl. I would be lying if i'd say the whole journey was a happy one. Of course there will be unhappy incidents, and on rare occasions I would really be mad at her. For digging a hole in the pages of my books , playing around with facial creams and getting herself into a big mess, snatching my clothes and pulling my hair. Etc.. 
She is a whirlwind in motion. A moment she will be at the living room watching dora , and the next moment she will be at the kitchen enthusiastically playing with the utensils. She would scream at the top of her voices whenever she was challenged. She would stand with her arms akimbo and debate with her facts . 
But whatever she does , she never fails to make me smile . I wasn't a really happy girl when i was in primary school but somehow , she is everywhere whenever i was sad back then . Kids are really a blessing . :)

On top of all that , I would say this journey is a fruitful one. And I am really glad to be able to be a part of her early journey. :) . I love kids ! 


So today she actually popped up at my doorstep ! I was really overwhelmed with happiness and surprised because they didn't call us before coming . I got to see my two lovelies and i just felt like hugging them and never let go . Today is a beautiful day as much as it intended to be . Seeing the two of them growing up and taking a step at a time makes my role as a sister more fulfilling . I just feel so contented , please grow up and be a good girl like me . :) . \

"Im showing you the good stuffs in mama's bag ! "

 "Yes i am coming , just a minute !!!"

"I am forced into this . :( but i still look cuter than jiejie . :)  "

Beautiful

About me

Its the end of prelims ! And sadly , the next exam timetable is O level's one !
I really hope its gonna be over soon . I have a lot of things waiting for me after this major exam !
Somehow i hope that i will be blessed with green fingers because i want to plant plants after O's . My mum just told me there are white roses . Its a bit unbelievable because i have not seen any *real white roses before . Whatever it is , i am gonna get a few beautiful potted plants or grow something out of something .

Went to see doctor again yesterday and each time i am given different medicine . And i have been on medication for more than a month . I actually thought it was impossible for me to recover fully . I can't describe the feeling . When you are really losing hope and faith and you feel that nothing is going to help . I could have recover long time ago if it did , right ? I hate to talk about this to close friends or even family members , somehow i just feel like some annoying person who keeps harping on the same thing over and over again . So i chose to write it here . I dont know how long more i have to write or when i can finally pen down my last post about this  . I am someone who really hates to take medicine . Even if i have headache or fever , i would rather wait for it to be unbearable than to ingest all those chemicals . But in the end i always ended up eating medicines . So its really hard for me to accept that i have to continue to take medicine daily and i don't know when is it gonna end . Argh . Its annoying to even think about the money i have wasted .. My doctor is expecting that i will be fully recovered soon . Soon ? When is soon ? 1 week ? 2 weeks ? 3 weeks ? I really hope that i will be okay before my major exam . Alright i am ok , just need to get this out !  

These few weeks

Everyone has a life to live.

A man could be starving at some shattered corners in a country and another man could be gorging on food. As you read this ,someone may be on the verge of death and some others could have been given a new leash of life. Someone may be sobbing and tearing while others are saturated with happiness, and they are beyond cloud nine.

We all have different lives , different living conditions. Sometimes I find myself comparing with others , what I could have , what i should have and what I shouldnt be going through. My mother always reminds me to be contented. Its useless to compare because there is a bottomless pit of desires and wants. Who is defined as the best and the most ideal?

The pictures are some food I tried at KL long time ago. Because I just wanted to post some photos. Talking about food, I am really losing my appetite . No spicy food. No dry and hard food ,cutting my intake of oily and salty food. Recently I discovered that tauhuey is really nice. Its really soft and sweet . I wonder how long more this have to last. Seriously , i am troubling over what to eat every day. Please let this be over real soon so that i can eat yummy food !

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Goals

Gonna keep this post short because i am really tired now but i am too zealous to update this space of mine .  I really have so much to say but i cant afford to blog every day of course . In fact i actually have a lot of uncompleted entries and topics on my phone which i typed out whenever i am free . Why  do i have so much to say ? Hahaha . 

"The main obstacle to success is the lack of determination " Its relevant . 
I am actually ....... disappointed in myself . I know i may not have the right to be upset and angry but i just cant suppress all these . I am still not fully recovered . Why ...... I have done all that i can and all that i should . I am really following very strict diets and daily plans just to ensure i am on the right track , and nearer to recovery . Apparently i am still far from it . And what pisses me off is i dont even know what's the freaking problem with me . I guess i have to report again . FML yes i know i have to be patient . Its during times like this when my endurance and resilience is tested . Yes there are people who are worst than me . I wont give up . 

"Dreams are just dreams . Goals are dreams with a plan and deadline " - Harvey Mackay 

Honestly , i still dont know where i want to go . It might sound really ridiculous because i am taking my major exams in 52 more days and i am still unsure of where i want to go . To be frank , this annoying issue didn't really bothered me until this wednesday . I was writing an essay about worries and hopes for my future . And without me realising i was actually writing about all the negative aspects of future . Eg . High cost of living and environmental degradation . I thought i was actuallly dumb to talk about all this when i am currently uncertain about my near future - tertiary education . 

I am still struggling to be confident enough to muster my courage to think about JC route  . I have my worries and uncertainties too . On the other note , its really hard not to be influenced by my friends' choices . That's why i am having a hard time now . 

If i were to say i am in for the Poly route , it would be even more hilarious because i simply have no idea which course i am interested in .

Yes dilemmas and struggles are parts of life ! 

Talking about career , i really did explore some possibilities , along with aspirations . 

When i was young i wanted to be a teacher . Then i felt it was too boring because everyone at that age wanted to be an educator ! Now i realise it isin't an easy job . Teachers are role models . Teaching is about commitment and passion . Taking up the role as an educator , you are actually respected and valued in the society because of your responsibilities and duties . It is about imparting knowledge , nurturing the young and inculcating moral values in students. Not everyone can be a teacher , and not every teacher can be a good educator . Teachers' actions and attitude have direct influences and impacts on the students . And they have to be accountable for their behavior . Frankly , seeing and experiencing how my generation treat teachers really makes me feel that i am unsuitable for this job . For me , its rather daunting because i can never ever imagine what the next generation is gonna be like . 

Then i wanted to be a doctor . Because i was told that i would not have to worry about the #firstworldproblem --- money . Yes , its always associated to doctors' income whenever this profession is mentioned . Actually i wanted to be a cosmetic surgeon . But i am really bad at drawing/sketching and performing practical skills . And doctors carry huge responsibilties too . Perhaps i might end up jeopardizing my reputation if something goes wrong . However , entering the health sector is still considered a good choice .

Okay i am really tired now and probably i should end here . Its teachers' day today and i am truly thankful that i have great teachers ! 

Love

Relationship. Crushes . Love.

Honestly , I think we are still rather not too mature for this (people around my age) . Yes 16 is not too young though, but i guess people around this age are still unable to be committed to such a huge responsibility. Its not that I am skeptical about steady relationships around my age . I had a fair share of learning from all these few years back. Of course you will learn to love someone more, or probably be more insightful in managing relationships with the opposite sex . Still, I feel that it is not really an appropriate period of our life to be entangled with all these relationship stuffs.

Why? 

We are still growing up. Our mindset of relationship is just "loving each other " . As long as you love me and so far as I love you, we can work out. When you are around my age, or probably even younger, do you even ponder so much before getting into a relationship? Some of us just feel like getting into one because all others are into it. Its like, " hey cmon, its cool and its a trend now, I must try it " . You just want to have someone who can text you 24/7. You just want to have someone to be called your " stead " . Because its cool.

What do we look for in relationship?

Undoubtedly, most of it are looks and probably personality. Do we look further than that? Do we consider how our future is gonna be like when we are with him/her?

Often, our age reflect our slight disability to discern the relevance of certain issues in relationships. In fact, some of us just spend way too much time in a relationship and neglect all others that are around us . As said, its about commitment and responsibility. Can you really have a fruitful relationship with the opposite sex when you are truely lacking of experience ? All that we engage in is puppy love. They get together. They break. They got upset. They got over being upset. And they got into a new relationship again. Its just like a cycle. I mean, it is. Unless you have decided to leave this important thing to a later part of your life. I know it may seem interesting.  Many get into relationship because of curiosity.

We seldom consider the repercussions that we might suffer when we get into relationships at such a young age.

Heartbreaks. There is definitely heartbreak during an end of r/s. It might be due to betrayal , lack of commitment and loyalty . Whatever it is, you got hurt. And your perception towards relationship changes and you start to realise it isin't that beautiful after all. I did. And you start assuming that all guys are jerks / all girls are bitches just because you didnt work out with one guy/girl in the whole wide world. Its not ridiculous to have this thinking though. Such experiences are really daunting and it discourage you from getting into serious relationship in the future just because the one in your teenage year didn't work.

Both genders at this age are still not mature enough to handle some r/s problems. We are still struggling to treat people right, and now we are talking about true love.

Ok I think I am having a rather negative view towards young relationships NOW . But in all I still can conclude I am quite neutral. I dont really discourage people from getting into first relationship ! Not too much about the fun , but yes YOLO. Some things ought to be tried out when you are younger. I'd rather regret doing it than regret not doing it. BUT, there is a fine line between bgr and personal relations with all others and studies . Dont sink too deep into it and get all the heartbreaks that shouldnt be a part of your teenage years .  Learn as you love, because such things wouldn't last forever. You wouldn't be young forever.

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Tuesday

Went for appointment today.  Though it did not turn out to be what I wished for, but im still grateful... Originally had to take full course of medication for one month. And now I am only required to take those medication for 3 weeks. Honestly I couldn't ask for more because i know its impossible for it to go away within a week , provided that there are no side effects ...

Though it makes me feel guilty and really upset for the past few days, I had to be thankful because it could have been worst.

Lastly, I am really thankful to my friends who really listened to me. And people around me who really put up with my frustration. :( .

Sorry for being so annoying but im blessed to have you all. ;) .

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Guilty

EDITED .
Health is really important. In fact , it is much more important than wealth. You can't enjoy your wealth if your health is adversely affected. And you will realise that you will be spending all your wealth on your health. I am sure no one wants to live like this. Therefore its clear that we should pay attention to our health, and not overlook it in the midst of our busy lives.

We often neglect our health because we feel that there are other things which we deem as more important than health.

An occasional maggie mee meal becomes a frequent fuel . Junk food triumphs over conventional healthy meals because of its convenience , and its taste of course. A weekly run becomes a monthly run because you just cant afford to skip algebra trigo geometry bzhusaoehsjcbm problem sums. And we often tell ourselves that we will fulfil those things after our most "important" things are done.

Our body is a complex system made up of.... (google yourself). Honestly I was quite fascinated to learn about how the human body worked when I took biology. Sometimes I really wonder who strung all those complex mechanisms of organs and tissues together. Hmm...

Well back to it. Before we realise, our health suffers. And it is often when we are sick and ill, then we begin to acknowledge the importance of healthy lifestyle.

Regular physical exercise. Well balanced diet. It might be hard to follow all these but we sure must to enjoy greater joy that our lives bring us. As said, an ill person cant be a happy person, as hard as he might try to be.

I was quilty of having spent not a small amount of money seeing the doctors. That wasn't the worst part . Dont wish to dwell too much here . However , I really hope that someday when I visit this blog again , this post will serve as a reminder and hopefully, it will be ingrained in me. Probably I would not even fall sick if I had listened to advices. Perhaps I wont even have to waste my parents' money if I have took a more cautious effort to take care of myself. Honestly I hate seeing the doctor. I dont detest the doctors . I just dislike trips to clinics . I supposed no one likes them too.

So anyways , please remember to spend some time to take care of yourself. Believe me , a healthy body is the most fortunate blessing anyone can have.

Health cant be compromised. :) .

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