Hazy Haze

Greeted by unwelcomed guest at the start of this week - HAZE. 
The thought of it is simply unpleasant because i thought i could enjoy this last week of holiday by shopping and playing outdoors. Well maybe we should all be glad that the situation got better before the start of the new term.  Nonetheless this is also the first time i am that thankful for the clear blue skies with cumulus clouds that we used to have (but seldom appreciated). Maybe sometimes we just have to experience loss or hardship to remind us to cherish whatever that we have. In life, we never thought that someone could mean that much to us until we lose them. We never realized how unappreciative we are at times and we only discover our ignorance and ungratefulness until something is gone forever. That's human nature i suppose. We take things and people for granted and we are often too self-absorbed and occupied with our own stuffs that we forget to look out for people and things around us. People learn from lessons and indeed, it taught us to be more appreciative and love the things around us more. I guess most of us are grateful that we can finally breathe in fresher and cleaner air. Perhaps this incident also reminded us the adverse impact pollution can have. Yes we all know that outcomes of pollution are threatening and we are aware that pollution occurs every day. Its effects are harmful and can potentially destroy lives and property. But yet people are willing to be ignorant of all these repercussions and commit acts which leads to all these irreversible damages. It's really ugly to know how selfish human beings can be at times. Farmers in Sumatra started forest fires because its cheap and convenient to clear land for farming. The smoke from the fires have severe implications on health which i assumed, are known to the farmers. Why would people rather sacrifice their health and well being to this extent for the sake of earning money? I really don't know. Yes they may do this for a living but how could they be so inconsiderate.  Besides hurting themselves they also pose threat to other countries and frankly this is the worst air pollution i have witnessed in Singapore. Well we should just keep our fingers crossed that this will not be a recurring problem.. Otherwise every summer will be a daunting one. 
But if there's any good that comes out of this incident, it would be knowing that our government is there to do the best that they could to mitigate the situation. Whenever a problem of a certain magnitude arises in Singapore, we never fail to see complaints and rants raging on social media sites and platforms. People get agitated and angry and wrote a  full lengthy post to criticize the efforts made to lessen the severity of the situation. Sometimes it might be good to recognise and acknowledge the efforts our government has made and focus less on the inconvenience itself. 
Time has invincible wings...So its gonna be school in two more days. To be honest i haven't even take a proper rest and now i have to go back to school again. And oh yeah have been eating and shopping too much lately..


Braved the Haze yesterday and went out though PSI rocketed to 400. Allow me to use #yolo hehehe .

Pictures are deceiving. The food sucks. 

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We have to face the outcome of our decisions and choices. This is undeniably true no matter which situation you are in. People can tell you a whole load of their opinions but you have to exercise your choice (wisely or not). What's worst is when you are unsure of how you feel and how you should deal with the current situation that you are facing. We have too much uncertainties at times and in fact they do cloud our judgement and make us doubt ourselves. I always wonder if i am right and accountable after i have made a decision. I worry a lot when i have to make some decisions. Yes i am scared of how much the outcome will eventually hurt. And i don't like to get hurt. (Well who does? ) It's good to exercise proper discretion before making decisions but sometimes we may be blinded by what we believe and make choices that we will regret in the future. To be honest i really hope i can be someone clear-headed when making decisions but i hate it when my emotions get the better of me. No i do not want the best for myself but i just want an outcome which will be ideal for me. People tell me i will never know unless i stop holding back and try. It takes a lot of courage for that and i really have to muster them before i get prepared for what i have to face. (This applies for all choices). I just hope that i will have more faith and courage to face all these . X 

Life

Sometimes you just sit down and wonder if this is going to be how your day ends. Sometimes you lie on the bed thinking of how you could have made yourself a better person than who you were yesterday. Sometimes and without realization , you doubt yourself for the things you never'd thought you would.
Yea just to caution you this is a pretty moody post. Don't read ....




So you still chose to ...

Ok lol. Anyways school has started . It's already week 3 and I am actually still trying to adapt into this new environment. Yes it's not going to be easy and no one said its gonna be , but ultimately I am here today because that's what I wanted. But ... Really ?
I am thankful to meet really nice and lovely people . My classmates are all really friendly and helpful. Yes it's nice seeing everyone getting well along with each other.
Now I am having second thoughts . Maybe .. Just maybe that I am not going to love what I am doing as much as I thought I would. Lectures and tutorials start and I can't pay attention .. Yes this shit is happening to me. I just don't know , I don't really enjoy studying business and stuffs. Yes and maybe I am regretting not choosing science courses , and not going to jc even. What was I thinking hmm..... Yes maybe I will start to love what I am doing after settling down , I hope so ... My parents are receptive to my "switched back to school" attitude but i don't want to fool anyone , much less my own parents . Yes behind closed doors they may think that i am actually studying or revising but i wasn't . I was always busy with other things ever since school started . I would leave my homework to the very last before i can actually get my ass down and do it , just because i had to and not that i really wanted to . Yeah these few weeks it's been like this . My mum would ask me how was school and it would always be that one pretty-yet-deceiving word : FINE . A few days ago i went back to work and surprisingly , i felt quite relieved because i didn't have to face stuffs that i didn't like for that few hours . Okay i shall admit that everything's not that serious actually it's just because i am having moodswings now . Okay...

It's pretty normal for people to have moodswings like this I guess , or maybe just whimsical ramblings hehe . I don't know why but sometimes I can just get upset quite easily. Whenever I do I feel shit of myself and I know that's very unbecoming of. It's not that this happens frequently but it sure doesn't feel good to feel like this . I don't know why. Yes no matter how happy or positive one may seem to be , there are bound to be times you feel upset and low. Sometimes you just feel a certain way about yourself and want to spend some time alone . Yes I am sure everyone does feel sad ... Right ? Trust me and you might disagree with me but i feel that it's normal for people to feel upset and unhappy , regardless of how optimistic and cheerful they are . And anyways its all right but dont stay that way for too long. Sometimes snapping out of it is hard but please never forget that only you can make yourself happy, if you want to. Anyone and in fact everyone can cheer you up but if you are not gonna get up yourself , nothing's gonna work. Yes it's really true. I look at joyful and confident people and I feel pleased for them . So if you are feeling low please try to get yourself up again . Do things that make you happy and smile. :)

Memories Oh Memories

Time flies and school is starting in another 2 days . :) I have been (quite ) busy these few months and thus this shall be a decent update before school starts for me and i start to get even more busy .. :( And yes , now i am moving on to another phase of my life , tertiary education . Honestly , i am excited for to meet new people and to experience Poly life . Embracing those changes that are going to happen (daily routines , sleeping habits , widening social circles blablabla) . Nevertheless i am still thankful for who i am today and what i have been through and learnt because of kind souls in my life . (Yes that's you , thanks for reading what this girl has to say ! )

Met up with these two beautiful ladies for a singing date at Kbox . It just feels good singing with people i love  and i guess our passion for this small little hobby will never die . May this continue to be one of the many reasons we meet up again in the future . :) Thankful for these singing buddies and good friends . I'd never thought there will be people who would love singing as much as i do ! 

Another singing session with colleagues . I remembered that i reached home at 3+ in the morning that day . Well it feels great to hang out with this bunch of people after work . We were all tired after a weekend work and everyone just sat down , drank and sang . Honestly , i didn't know i would be able to hang out with colleagues like i do before i started working after O levels . I really thought that money and experiences would be the things i will only look forward to when i was seeking job a couple of months ago . Thus i am glad that i met some really nice people at work . I am thankful for the friendships that we forged and what all of you have taught me . May God bless everyone of you . :)

Went to Town with colleagues .It was literally a shopping trip because we went straight down after collecting our pay a month ago .. Went to Scape and Cineleisure . Great shopping trip and we were all worn out at the end of the day . I hope you babes enjoyed that day as much as i did . ^^

Went to Haji Lane with Baby Sarah . :) . OK i really have to say that this street is really unique and beautiful . Its like an collaboration of art and fashion , with an subtle infusion of foreign culture . The shops are lined along the streets with walls of different pastel colors . Went into some of the boutiques and the decoration of some of the shop were indeed awe-inspiring and simply , gorgeous . It's like we have been brought back to the olden days , surrounded by vintage accessories and objects . Walking down the lane gave me a special feeling . Glad that i finally had the chance to visit this lane , which potrays another side of our hustle and bustle city . However , stuffs are rather extravagant . Most apparels can be found on online blogshops at a cheaper price . In conclusion , it was still an eye -opening experience . 

Having fun at Breeze Singapore event at Bukit Panjang Atrium . Hehe i was actually working but i didn't feel that i was working at all . All i had to do was to register children for play dough and chocolate fondue activities and to take pictures for some children . Spent some time with them and it was really fun working with kids . Seeing their satisfied and proud smiles after making their dough drew smiles on our faces too . And yes , i met new and great people who were really friendly . Unfortunately , I only spent a day with them . But i am still thankful for this fun experience . :)

Yes Poly Orientation started for me this monday . Again , i met really nice and fun people . Everyone is so outgoing and gregarious . Had dinner on the last day of orientation and we really had fun talking with each other and playing around . Laughed a lot during the whole orientation . Especially when we were mixing wit one another and firing dumb questions at each other . YEAH we are a bunch of enthusiastic KNIGHTS 5 . BOOM SA EH WAH EH WAH . Really loved the cheers and the fun games we have played . Couldn't meet them up today but i really hope there will still be outings like this again . 

 

Beautiful Clarke Quay at night . It was an really impromptu trip as we decided to hang around the beautiful Singapore river at night . Nice day out . :)

Guys Camwhoring hehehe .

Long awaited 4e1 gathering ! ^-^ Feels good to see almost everyone again . Seriously had loads of fun and i am really thankful that you guys turned up . I can't help but think of the times we struggled through exams and tests . Yes we have been through those stressful times together so i believe all of us have been renewed with strength and courage to overcome future problems , be it school or personal problems . :) Everyone is as much as their usual self , joking and kidding around . Thank you , 4e1 . Frankly , i feel young again because for the past few months , i have been hanging out mostly with colleagues and i felt that i have leaped from a teenager to an adult . Still , i enjoyed the company of both groups . 

 And lastly , HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST PHYLLIS TAN . I can't believe you're 17 now . Hehehe you are still that childish , annoying and adorable , still that crazy girl i met years ago . OK you might not know this or you might not be reading this but i really hope you are doing and coping well in school . Heard that JC kids are really very stressed . Hope you don't get too stressed up and take care of yourself please . Honestly , i do not want to make this sounds sad but i really miss those times we spent together . Those times when laughing and fooling around with your dearest friend meant great memories for you . Yes i'd never forget stupid stuffs we have done together and i will never forget them . Another Confession .. I was really glad this girl came to find me when i was working (quite some time ago) . I remembered that i was really troubled with stuffs about work and people at work ....... Yes at that moment i was really unsure about my feelings and i had this doubt but i felt better talking to her . I was late when i returned from break but it was really worth it . HEHE :) THANKS LAH AND IF YOU ARE READING THIS , DON'T FORGET THAT I LOVE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU . Yes , always :)

Chinese New Year

Happy Chinese New Year !

Everything has been going smoothly and sweet for me (Except for something which got me awfully sick ) . As usual , i went to Grandmother's house to celebrate Chinese New Year . Well it's not much about the festive and mood itself , but the affirmation i got when i got to see everyone again , and everyone is safe and sound . I know the previous statement sounds a little awkward and that's because i have just finished watching an awesome movie [The Impossible] . It reminded me to cherish and love my loved ones , and seeing how the actors fought hard and brave with courage just to reconcile with their loved ones touched a place deep in my heart . This movie is inspired by a True Story and i would recommend it to anyone because it is a nice movie . Please prepare some tissue with you if you fully intend to watch it . :)

Is it just me .... or did anyone realise and notice that the Chinese New Year is getting more boring ? Be it the mood , the atmosphere , culture , traditional practices , i feel that everything is gradually fading . People dress up in modern and stylish clothes instead of traditional clothes . It is hard to see any females wearing Cheongsam (did i even spell it correctly ) and guys wearing the traditional costumes . We still have steamboat and reunion dinner ... But the mood is less infectious . Or perhaps it is because this year is the year of snake ? Snakes are perceived as evil and sly creatures so that's why people do not hang those decorative snakes poster up ? Anyways , I stayed at home this whole new year and ... bonded with cousins . We played the usual card games , gambled and i learnt Mahjong ! I finally realised how hard it is not to get addicted after you have learnt how to play it . 

I returned to singapore on 12 Feb and that day was hell to me . I snacked on prawn rolls , egg rolls , pineapple tarts , Kueh Lapis , Chocolates , candies , cookies and sweet drinks before i had my late afternoon nap . I was then awakened by a stinging pain in my stomach and since then ........ i had countless runs in the washrooms and i vomited thrice . Thanks to all those junk and my inability to restrain from unhealthy food . I swear that was the worst and longest stomachache i had . So please .. Take care of yourself and remember to eat carefully ! (This was the thing which got me awfully sick..) 

Still have a month plus before school reopens and i am deeply encouraged to continue shopping for clothes for poly ! Ok i shall end abruptly here because its really late now ... Yawns ..

So ..... ?

A month has passed and here i am , finely (?) settled in a routine that is most likely going to see me through for another 2 months . If someone were to ask me to describe my life now , i am sure i could finish in 10 seconds . Yeah sure my life does sound as boring as i described (did i even...) but there are still some nitty gritty stuffs that i could probably think to force it to be as interesting .

Okay forget about that paragraph i am just writing about my life at this very bored moment . Life has been roughly the same for me . I have been working almost every day since i am back from my holiday . Working life is .... i wouldn't say it is dull because of interesting encounters during work (eccentric customers with peculiar eating ways , demanding customers , really gracious and lovable customers who don't leave behind an earthquake aftermath for us to clear ..  )

Well yes customers might be going like '  Hey you are paid so please shut up with the complaining and do your freaking job . ' Okay to a certain extent , i do agree with this . We expect credible , reliable and excellent service everywhere in Singapore . We aim to be a global medical hub with wide range of healthcare services , we want to be known of an education hub that nurtures generations of young minds into capable and successful leaders . We are improving to be the best we can be in the tourism industry . We have local brands , small and medium enterprises striving to go beyond our boundaries and mark their feet at the outside world . Arguably , it's hard not to expect for the best anywhere in Singapore . It is even harder not to imagine the consequences of not meeting the expectations of consumers . A famous saying emphasizes that customers are always right . Again , is it regardless of any circumstances ?

Currently , i am working in the food and beverage industry (the only one i have worked in) and i am really propelled to get a fair share of experience in other industry . Perhaps , a retail assistant in some apparel shops ? It's not that i do not like my job ( albeit currently i am feeling a bit nonchalant about it oooops ) . Honestly and staying as professional as i could be , i would still be rather piqued at some unreasonable customers . (you don't say ..) . Argh anyways the above are just some of my thoughts in view of my past week . Not interesting but not boring , not daunting but not encouraging .

Another possible update .. I am posted to my desired course (Business Studies) in Ngee Ann Polytehnic . Hope i'd make a prudent decision to go to Polytehnic ( Hell nooo why am i thinking of this now) . Okay i should really be grateful for everything and look forward to it with anticipation . :)

O levels results

I typed this before receiving my results.

My results are gonna be out in less than 48 hours. Honestly , I have the whole animal kingdom in my stomach , not just butterflies. I have been trying to keep myself busy these few days after knowing that the results releasing date is confirmed. I can't afford to give some time to myself , because I will never stop wondering what am I going to be experiencing after 48 hours. I have been working really hard for this whole year. I studied. In fact , I studied like studying was the only thing I could do at that point of my life. I really hope I would be able to get what I wanted.
Well , that's was all that I hoped for.

This was typed after receiving my results.

Sadly , it didn't happen. I didn't get more than 5 distinctions. I didn't have distinctions for my sciences. Frankly , I was disappointed in myself. I thought I would have done better than this when I have already put in my best. When my results were handed to me , all the anxiety and anticipation melted into sadness and disappointment that I once thought I would possibly never get . My heart sank. It was definitely not like i was going to break down any moment but I just couldn't believe this was what I got after a whole year of hard work . I became neutral about my results and I didn't want to be upset at that point of time , i didnt want anyone to feel the same exact disappointment as me , or felt even worst . I knew that there were others who did more badly than me. I wouldn't want to affect anyone in that situation because the mood was really infectious and the atmosphere was tense. Some shed tears of joy , while the others , the exact opposite. Deep in my heart , I knew I have not accomplish what I wanted to. It sank to me the truth that this was my fruits of labour , far from my expectations and hopes. Of course , I had mixed feelings at that very moment. I knew my mother would be very satisfied with what I got. I began to ponder about my next destination and journey I am going to embark on. I knew I would be facing a dilemma between polytechnic and junior college. I went home and different thoughts bombarded my mind , swirling and twirling to remind me that I have an important decision to make. True enough , everyone around me congratulated me on the " good " results I got. They told me they were happy for me and that I would be able to qualify for most of the courses in polytechnics , and arguably a few junior colleges that I could enter without feeling I wasn't good enough. I went to work the next day and I felt really relived that I didn't look really exhausted and listless because I didn't catch enough sleep. I slept really late the night before because I was thinking hard on where I should go. It felt like I was being put in a mind battle of choosing and deciding between poly and jc and this totally revealed the indecisiveness in me . I couldn't even tell myself which was right for me despite listing out all the pros and cons for each institution. I thought really hard , considering my job prospects , my future career , my possible field of interest . I went to work the next day and I was really glad I could put this challenging thoughts aside and devote time and attention to my work . Haha probably that was the only time I was that serious in work. Talked to some colleagues and people at my workplace , they gave me advices but I still couldn't make up my mind after listening and talking to them. I felt really lost and insecure. Cousins Cẩme out to play but I couldn't really concentrate because I still have a tough decision to make. I didn't want to go on and on about the decision making process but I want to thank everyone who gave me true experiences , valued advices and opinions. I really needed that at that point of time. :). I even called some of my friends to find out about their life in different jcs and polytechnics. Be it friends , seniors , colleagues , relatives or teachers , thank you very much for listening to me . I decided to go for polytechnic instead of junior college because of various reasons. Anyways , i chose a course related to business. BTW , On a general perspective i think my results werent that bad , it's just that i didn't meet my expectations. Ok that's about it. Really glad I have decided on it and submitted my choices. Heaving a sign of relief , I am glad I can be myself again and the cloud of uncertainties in me gradually faded as I continued to enjoy the company of my cousins . Right now , I am back in Malaysia with my cousins and we are going to KL in an hour time ! Can't wait to play , shop and eat ~ shall blog with pictures when I am back in singapore ! Bye ~