Life

Sometimes you just sit down and wonder if this is going to be how your day ends. Sometimes you lie on the bed thinking of how you could have made yourself a better person than who you were yesterday. Sometimes and without realization , you doubt yourself for the things you never'd thought you would.
Yea just to caution you this is a pretty moody post. Don't read ....




So you still chose to ...

Ok lol. Anyways school has started . It's already week 3 and I am actually still trying to adapt into this new environment. Yes it's not going to be easy and no one said its gonna be , but ultimately I am here today because that's what I wanted. But ... Really ?
I am thankful to meet really nice and lovely people . My classmates are all really friendly and helpful. Yes it's nice seeing everyone getting well along with each other.
Now I am having second thoughts . Maybe .. Just maybe that I am not going to love what I am doing as much as I thought I would. Lectures and tutorials start and I can't pay attention .. Yes this shit is happening to me. I just don't know , I don't really enjoy studying business and stuffs. Yes and maybe I am regretting not choosing science courses , and not going to jc even. What was I thinking hmm..... Yes maybe I will start to love what I am doing after settling down , I hope so ... My parents are receptive to my "switched back to school" attitude but i don't want to fool anyone , much less my own parents . Yes behind closed doors they may think that i am actually studying or revising but i wasn't . I was always busy with other things ever since school started . I would leave my homework to the very last before i can actually get my ass down and do it , just because i had to and not that i really wanted to . Yeah these few weeks it's been like this . My mum would ask me how was school and it would always be that one pretty-yet-deceiving word : FINE . A few days ago i went back to work and surprisingly , i felt quite relieved because i didn't have to face stuffs that i didn't like for that few hours . Okay i shall admit that everything's not that serious actually it's just because i am having moodswings now . Okay...

It's pretty normal for people to have moodswings like this I guess , or maybe just whimsical ramblings hehe . I don't know why but sometimes I can just get upset quite easily. Whenever I do I feel shit of myself and I know that's very unbecoming of. It's not that this happens frequently but it sure doesn't feel good to feel like this . I don't know why. Yes no matter how happy or positive one may seem to be , there are bound to be times you feel upset and low. Sometimes you just feel a certain way about yourself and want to spend some time alone . Yes I am sure everyone does feel sad ... Right ? Trust me and you might disagree with me but i feel that it's normal for people to feel upset and unhappy , regardless of how optimistic and cheerful they are . And anyways its all right but dont stay that way for too long. Sometimes snapping out of it is hard but please never forget that only you can make yourself happy, if you want to. Anyone and in fact everyone can cheer you up but if you are not gonna get up yourself , nothing's gonna work. Yes it's really true. I look at joyful and confident people and I feel pleased for them . So if you are feeling low please try to get yourself up again . Do things that make you happy and smile. :)