Goals

Gonna keep this post short because i am really tired now but i am too zealous to update this space of mine .  I really have so much to say but i cant afford to blog every day of course . In fact i actually have a lot of uncompleted entries and topics on my phone which i typed out whenever i am free . Why  do i have so much to say ? Hahaha . 

"The main obstacle to success is the lack of determination " Its relevant . 
I am actually ....... disappointed in myself . I know i may not have the right to be upset and angry but i just cant suppress all these . I am still not fully recovered . Why ...... I have done all that i can and all that i should . I am really following very strict diets and daily plans just to ensure i am on the right track , and nearer to recovery . Apparently i am still far from it . And what pisses me off is i dont even know what's the freaking problem with me . I guess i have to report again . FML yes i know i have to be patient . Its during times like this when my endurance and resilience is tested . Yes there are people who are worst than me . I wont give up . 

"Dreams are just dreams . Goals are dreams with a plan and deadline " - Harvey Mackay 

Honestly , i still dont know where i want to go . It might sound really ridiculous because i am taking my major exams in 52 more days and i am still unsure of where i want to go . To be frank , this annoying issue didn't really bothered me until this wednesday . I was writing an essay about worries and hopes for my future . And without me realising i was actually writing about all the negative aspects of future . Eg . High cost of living and environmental degradation . I thought i was actuallly dumb to talk about all this when i am currently uncertain about my near future - tertiary education . 

I am still struggling to be confident enough to muster my courage to think about JC route  . I have my worries and uncertainties too . On the other note , its really hard not to be influenced by my friends' choices . That's why i am having a hard time now . 

If i were to say i am in for the Poly route , it would be even more hilarious because i simply have no idea which course i am interested in .

Yes dilemmas and struggles are parts of life ! 

Talking about career , i really did explore some possibilities , along with aspirations . 

When i was young i wanted to be a teacher . Then i felt it was too boring because everyone at that age wanted to be an educator ! Now i realise it isin't an easy job . Teachers are role models . Teaching is about commitment and passion . Taking up the role as an educator , you are actually respected and valued in the society because of your responsibilities and duties . It is about imparting knowledge , nurturing the young and inculcating moral values in students. Not everyone can be a teacher , and not every teacher can be a good educator . Teachers' actions and attitude have direct influences and impacts on the students . And they have to be accountable for their behavior . Frankly , seeing and experiencing how my generation treat teachers really makes me feel that i am unsuitable for this job . For me , its rather daunting because i can never ever imagine what the next generation is gonna be like . 

Then i wanted to be a doctor . Because i was told that i would not have to worry about the #firstworldproblem --- money . Yes , its always associated to doctors' income whenever this profession is mentioned . Actually i wanted to be a cosmetic surgeon . But i am really bad at drawing/sketching and performing practical skills . And doctors carry huge responsibilties too . Perhaps i might end up jeopardizing my reputation if something goes wrong . However , entering the health sector is still considered a good choice .

Okay i am really tired now and probably i should end here . Its teachers' day today and i am truly thankful that i have great teachers ! 

Love

Relationship. Crushes . Love.

Honestly , I think we are still rather not too mature for this (people around my age) . Yes 16 is not too young though, but i guess people around this age are still unable to be committed to such a huge responsibility. Its not that I am skeptical about steady relationships around my age . I had a fair share of learning from all these few years back. Of course you will learn to love someone more, or probably be more insightful in managing relationships with the opposite sex . Still, I feel that it is not really an appropriate period of our life to be entangled with all these relationship stuffs.

Why? 

We are still growing up. Our mindset of relationship is just "loving each other " . As long as you love me and so far as I love you, we can work out. When you are around my age, or probably even younger, do you even ponder so much before getting into a relationship? Some of us just feel like getting into one because all others are into it. Its like, " hey cmon, its cool and its a trend now, I must try it " . You just want to have someone who can text you 24/7. You just want to have someone to be called your " stead " . Because its cool.

What do we look for in relationship?

Undoubtedly, most of it are looks and probably personality. Do we look further than that? Do we consider how our future is gonna be like when we are with him/her?

Often, our age reflect our slight disability to discern the relevance of certain issues in relationships. In fact, some of us just spend way too much time in a relationship and neglect all others that are around us . As said, its about commitment and responsibility. Can you really have a fruitful relationship with the opposite sex when you are truely lacking of experience ? All that we engage in is puppy love. They get together. They break. They got upset. They got over being upset. And they got into a new relationship again. Its just like a cycle. I mean, it is. Unless you have decided to leave this important thing to a later part of your life. I know it may seem interesting.  Many get into relationship because of curiosity.

We seldom consider the repercussions that we might suffer when we get into relationships at such a young age.

Heartbreaks. There is definitely heartbreak during an end of r/s. It might be due to betrayal , lack of commitment and loyalty . Whatever it is, you got hurt. And your perception towards relationship changes and you start to realise it isin't that beautiful after all. I did. And you start assuming that all guys are jerks / all girls are bitches just because you didnt work out with one guy/girl in the whole wide world. Its not ridiculous to have this thinking though. Such experiences are really daunting and it discourage you from getting into serious relationship in the future just because the one in your teenage year didn't work.

Both genders at this age are still not mature enough to handle some r/s problems. We are still struggling to treat people right, and now we are talking about true love.

Ok I think I am having a rather negative view towards young relationships NOW . But in all I still can conclude I am quite neutral. I dont really discourage people from getting into first relationship ! Not too much about the fun , but yes YOLO. Some things ought to be tried out when you are younger. I'd rather regret doing it than regret not doing it. BUT, there is a fine line between bgr and personal relations with all others and studies . Dont sink too deep into it and get all the heartbreaks that shouldnt be a part of your teenage years .  Learn as you love, because such things wouldn't last forever. You wouldn't be young forever.

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Tuesday

Went for appointment today.  Though it did not turn out to be what I wished for, but im still grateful... Originally had to take full course of medication for one month. And now I am only required to take those medication for 3 weeks. Honestly I couldn't ask for more because i know its impossible for it to go away within a week , provided that there are no side effects ...

Though it makes me feel guilty and really upset for the past few days, I had to be thankful because it could have been worst.

Lastly, I am really thankful to my friends who really listened to me. And people around me who really put up with my frustration. :( .

Sorry for being so annoying but im blessed to have you all. ;) .

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Tumblr

Guilty

EDITED .
Health is really important. In fact , it is much more important than wealth. You can't enjoy your wealth if your health is adversely affected. And you will realise that you will be spending all your wealth on your health. I am sure no one wants to live like this. Therefore its clear that we should pay attention to our health, and not overlook it in the midst of our busy lives.

We often neglect our health because we feel that there are other things which we deem as more important than health.

An occasional maggie mee meal becomes a frequent fuel . Junk food triumphs over conventional healthy meals because of its convenience , and its taste of course. A weekly run becomes a monthly run because you just cant afford to skip algebra trigo geometry bzhusaoehsjcbm problem sums. And we often tell ourselves that we will fulfil those things after our most "important" things are done.

Our body is a complex system made up of.... (google yourself). Honestly I was quite fascinated to learn about how the human body worked when I took biology. Sometimes I really wonder who strung all those complex mechanisms of organs and tissues together. Hmm...

Well back to it. Before we realise, our health suffers. And it is often when we are sick and ill, then we begin to acknowledge the importance of healthy lifestyle.

Regular physical exercise. Well balanced diet. It might be hard to follow all these but we sure must to enjoy greater joy that our lives bring us. As said, an ill person cant be a happy person, as hard as he might try to be.

I was quilty of having spent not a small amount of money seeing the doctors. That wasn't the worst part . Dont wish to dwell too much here . However , I really hope that someday when I visit this blog again , this post will serve as a reminder and hopefully, it will be ingrained in me. Probably I would not even fall sick if I had listened to advices. Perhaps I wont even have to waste my parents' money if I have took a more cautious effort to take care of myself. Honestly I hate seeing the doctor. I dont detest the doctors . I just dislike trips to clinics . I supposed no one likes them too.

So anyways , please remember to spend some time to take care of yourself. Believe me , a healthy body is the most fortunate blessing anyone can have.

Health cant be compromised. :) .

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Fairness

Fairness.

How many issues can you think of when you see this word ?

Nothing is really fair in this world. However, it wouldn't be thrilling and fun to live in a world without unfairness. Can you imagine what would be expected of mankind if everyone is offered the same opportunity? Undoubtedly, we will all be living in a non-competitive society. No one seeks to fight and thrive to achieve their goals, and indirectly, to be better than others.

Injustice causes unhappines , anger and frustration. 

Its really heart wrenching when you come to realise what woman are going through in other countries. Its does make me feel angry and helpless too. Just a few weeks ago I read an article  about women in a particular country who work as prostitutes . Yes they dont like a job like this , in fact nobody does , but most of them are left with no choice. What to do when you have so many mouths to account for? And they knew that that was the only way to survive. Some women even work almost 10 times a day just to buy plenty amount of food to feed their families. No I really cant imagine the pain and sorrow they are going through. I cant even....

Its unfair. Why do women in these countries have to suffer and do something that they dont even like? Shouldn't it be more justified? Shouldn't a job be at least one that makes a person feel satisfied with what he or she is doing ? Isint a work field a place for an individual to demonstrate her capability and in the process, enjoys what she is doing ?

So... why ??? Just like people who solicit sex everywhere in the world, but my heart goes out more to those women in these countries. I mean, why is it even regarded as a profession when it Isint something anyone wants to be recognised for. Of course, there are all types of people in the world. You can easily find people with all types of jobs in this ever changing world. Somehow, someday we will just get used to hearing the plight of these women in those countries . We are all getting colder. People's mindset are keenly attuned to this modern life that we are living. That is - you cant survive if you cant prove your worth in this current society. So you just have to sacrifice your body to continue living in this cold world. Its really heartbreaking to see this coming.

Some women in developing countries are suffering from even worst circumstances. Again I read that almost 40 plus women are raped daily in some countries. Women are so vulnerable in these countries. They have no rights and say , and they are not even given the least amount of respect to live as a human being. Their rights are violated. No one stands up for them because getting raped to them is becoming a norm. They cant protect themselves and there are no laws to justify for them. It is just a recurring problem that no one seeks to rectify to give the future generations of women greater hopes. Or simply , to at least not let them be deprived of their basic rights. 

Talking about outraging of women's modesty , those men are incorrigible. Bastards. Can you even imagine how you have ruined someone's life just to satisfy your own pleasure? You took the advantage that we girls are not as physically strong as you bastard and happily commit those crimes and walk away without feeling a tinge of guilt. Bastards you all dont belong to this world. Why wont someone implement a law that says like this : "Any men found guilty of rapping or attempting to rape any female will be castrated without further compromises. "

I think I got really agitated typing this. Hahaha. Bye !

Pictures !

Food for thought.

So I was flipping thru the papers. Apparently , the issue on "sex-for-grades" between the professor and the lady was all heated up last week.

Feeling a bit of ambivalent. Yes the professor was charged for being sexually initmate with the lady. And what she wanted was grades.

But who knows? Who knows that there might really be having some sort of love between them (though it hardly seemed to be the case) , what IF. Concrete proof of claimed bribery was shown and yes that lady probably showered the prof with more gifts.

But it is also hard to deny that society really perceives grades as probably, the most important criteria when considering employment . The one who acheived better grades gets more opportunities and have undeniably better career prospects. Securing a job that brings enough monetary satisfaction on top of personal interest is so important nowadays. Certificates are even more important than one's actual capability. Who dares to argue that money is not significant in this current world?  Without money, lots of things cant be fufilled. Even daily needs cant be met without money. Money makes people feel contented and happy. That is probably why everyone strives to get the best of the best grades so as to be better assured of their future. In other words, the girl's concerns can be understood to a certain extent.  No I am not saying its ethically right for her to commit such acts in exchange for grades. But in this competitive world, one is probably just too stressed out and thus chose the 'wrong' way to pursue things . Its somehow or rather , the key to survive in this ever-changing world . No it is also not that if she cant get a job she would die, of course. In the end , I guess the one who is suffering most is the prof's wife. Who could stand a partner's infedility ?

Just some of my thoughts and feelings. :) 

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Small But Significant .

I was really happy last week because it was kbox time ! ^-^ .

I just needed to sing all my troubles away . Sometimes its just those days when you feel really upset /irritated / annoyed for no good reasons . This week in school is .. pretty normal . I guess i just got really lethargic by the end of the week . And i get annoyed easily . 

Shall not talk too much about why i get annoyed . OR the people who made me feel really irritated . I dont want to give unhappy happenings a second thought . And yes i am exercising my choice wisely . 

Is it just me ? I just dont like it when people are too annoying to the extent that i cant even have a proper conversation with them .  Its really detestable that people have to deliberately speak with their words FULL of sarcasms . They just speak right into your face .  Its not that i have low tolerance or bad attitude . I seldom get frustrated over such stuffs , but i really dont like it when people say unpleasant things along with their sarcasms . And i wasnt the one who initiate the conversation , neither was i the one who even bother to exchange words with such people . So why won't you leave me alone ? Yes its those people who start talking and you can't help but ask them to stfu . We are not given a mouth to create unhappiness . 

OK back to kbox . Had a great time ^-^ . 

Puzzle

" Why should i be happy? "

Do you ask yourself this during moments of frustration and sadness ? I know its really challenging to force yourself to answer this question when you are anxious / angry / stressed out. I admit , its hard for me too.

Then tranquillity sets in and I think about it. I should be happy because im living in  safe country. Though I am not really financially well-to-do , but I dont suffer from rampant proverty. My needs , and even my wants are met. Though the weather is sweltering HOT, im thankful that climate disaster such as droughts doesn't occur. Though we do not have zero crime rate, I still feel secure and safe stepping out to the streets. I dont have to live in fear for tomorrow.  (But cases on outrage of modesty have keened and I guess we must be more careful hahaha) Though I may not live in a mansion or bungalow or terrace house, im glad that I dont have incessant worries for a roof over my head. Though I may still be feeling the hunger pangs in the middle of the night, I feel glad that im not suffering, growing emaciated and gaunt because of shortage of food. Though I may not be in some prestigious schools , im glad I have an opportunity to be educated, which others are yearning for. Honestly, no resentments for my living condition. Lastly , I have great parents / good friends , and they never fail to make me laugh every day. So there is a reason to be happy afterall.

Sometimes things may seemed bleak and we often question our own abilities. We are doubtful of ourselves when we cant handle things the way we want to . We feel the immense resentment towards unhappy problems and we ask "why dont things improve?  " . Often, I tried to tell myself what im feeling right now is not and would never be the worst because there are always people who are less fortunate than me . I am worrying about grades while they are worrying about their lives,  and their hopes for better tomorrow are probably dreams that could never come true . I live beyond that and thinking that they cant even have the opportunity to feel how I felt , im truly contented .  So perhaps , you might want to change change the question to , " why should I be Contented? "  . Then you will probably feel better. And you could go ahead to find other reasons why you should be happy , on top of feeling contented.

Its really annoying for me to type this paragraph after one whole chunk which is talking about reasons to be happy.

So I was wondering, if everyone was to feel contented with their current situation , who will be propelled to improve their living condition and lives ? If everyone was satisfied , where comes the driving force to push us to achieve greater dreams and to escalate our country's level of development to greater heights?

But yeah, I know its impossible for everyone to feel pleased , satisfied and grateful for everything they have. Humans are greedy and we cant deny the inexorable trend that people are willing to do anything for money.

However , we wont be happy forever and there are certainly times when we will feel sad , but the most impt thing is to remember to snap out of sadness . :)

Shall end this post here !

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