Talking about chocolates , 
I remembered you will always cheer me up with it .
And now ?
Probably you are using it to draw a smile on other girls face . 

What will happen to girls if missing kills ?

For those memories which dont deserve to exist , Just let them be deceased .
But sometimes i just cant .
You gave me to much for me to let go , You love me too much for me to forgo . 
Just hurt me if you really want to , but i know you cant bear to .
I cant tell what you are thinking , but it still gets into my dreaming .
Dont promise me forever , when all you could give me is just a plain love . 


Darn really hate to get emotional . 
Probably i dont even have the right to .

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE TIRED OF HOPING ? 

Getting rather tired of hoping . Are you ?

I hate it when people are really insensitive .

But well , whenever i wanna bring myself to ignore and " HATE " this person ,

i will always get reminded that all those people are not obliged to know how i feel . 

Even if they do , they are not obligated to say things in a way to make sure im protected .

No way . This is truth and reality . And reality is cruel .

nobody is flawless but i just cant take it when people are rumbling and mumbling about others when they cant even have a proper look of themselves .

Well , lets all be accepting . Be accepting that such people exist . Be accepting that no one is to prevent you from being hurt . Be accepting that sometimes criticisms and and hurtful opinions are there to make you stay humble .

Tears are also a part of growing up . No point hiding your emotions . 

But perhaps sometimes we should be glad towards hurtful truths because who knows , we will be living w sarcasms and critics the very next moment ? 

"When hurtful remarks became jokes . 

When laughter turns to tears . "

Its just a quote i thought of .

I hate it when words just simply pull me down .
Really really . I just cant get it that there are people who are sooo insensitive . 
Well , there are all types of people in the world . 
For better or for worse ,Words can be a great encouragement , and definitely a killer .
Felt rather broken this week , felt even more vulnerable w all those remarks .
Nothing just seems reassuring . 

Do you remember ?

Managed to correctly conveyed some of my feelings here . I dont need you to like it , I just need you to get me . P.S . 


When lollipops turned into cigarettes .
When the only drugs you knew was cough medicine .
When hugs turned to kisses , then to sex .
When the only war game you knew was Digimon card game .
When the only person you dared to say ILOVEYOU was your parents .
When the best reward was an ice cream from mummy .
When the only evil guy you know was mojojojo .
When a burger simply puts a smile on your face.
When you only cry when you lost your favourite hairclip .
When your hair was never messy no matter how ugly it looks .
When looks never matter as long as your mummy says Youarepretty .
When something you loved the most was the hello kitty pen your daddy gave you .
When the most comforting words are always from mama .
When you would only think about what to eat tomorrow before going to sleep today .
When the worst punishment was mum's canny cane .
When bitches , sluts and bastards are aliens to you . 
When your only best friend was mollie next door .
When barney is all that you hugged to sleep .
WHEN HAPPINESS WAS ALL YOU KNEW .
Little tom and mary , Hows your life now ? 


Thankyou for reading . :)

Heres my strong urge to blog .
Theres really a big difference >
When you are wrong and you admit it , If its not t others , at least the minimum to yourself .
AND .
When you are wrong , You are just trying to testify for yourself and complain about others .
Well , Just argued w my brother .
Argh . Sometimes i really got very pissed at him . I srsly wonder , When will he grow up , And learn ? 
he totally have no respect for elders . Im not trying to embarrass him . But i really feel that theres a need for him to learn , much more to learn . yes im not perfect , But at least im trying to get my wrongs right , And , im really learning . Sometimes i feeel so heartache when he was sooooooo rude to my parents . I srsly wanna slap him . I srsly want to see how his children will treat him . Let him have a taste of himself . Hes always blaming others , always .Hes always justifying for himself , always . Yes sometimes i does it too . But theres really a certain limit . Its really sad to see him behaving like that . Please . I really want him to learn . But theres really nothing i can do . He NEVER listens to me . And i know whenever im trying to talk to him about sth , He will say i does that too .... BLABLABLA . Let fate do the job . *NO EYES TO SEE * [In hokkien ]


Ok now , wanna go visit my uncle . Hes still not getting any better . Perhaps he alr cant last long . Haiz . 
Prolly i can get to see him tomorrow ... Idk what to hope for him . 

A sad post ...


Currently , my uncle is lying in the ICU , and he just had his major brain operation to remove 
the blood clot . And , the next 48 hours is critical , We might just lose him , anytime . 
If he wakes up , He will still be sort of vegetable ....
Why ? Why does such things happen every year ? 
One day , you can still see a person living happily , Smiling and talking in front of you .
And the very next moment , Before you even had the chance to bid farewell , they left you . 
First was my dear grandpa .
Then my aunt .
No , Please . I dont want any such things to happen this year again . 
But , chances of survival are low , even the skull was removed . 
Please . DONT TAKE HIM AWAY . Please . Hes the uncle who sees me up , the uncle who never forgets us when he won in 4D . I remember my last $50 from him . Just a few months ago ....
He was still laughing and talking in front of us , And how he could be the one , who leave us , now and forever ...


i seriously dont know what i can do now , except for praying for him ...
Please , dont take him away ... Life is really really fragile . 
WE OFTEN TAKE OUR HEALTH FOR GRANTED . REALLY . 
please wake him up . Please . haizzz .............................. :'(

FOR U .

Dear Brother ,

You suck .

I really hate to be your sister , And i really hate having you as a brother .

I hate you for being soooo rude to MY mom .

I hate that you think you are smarter than me when you are actually not .

I hate the fact that you have no respect , for anyone .

I hate it when i had to write this HERE because i just dont want to bloody yelled at your face .

I hate to accept the fact that you had already lost my respect for you .

I hate the fact tat im sooooo angry at you . 

I HATE THE FACT THAT YOU ALWAYS LIKE TO PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH , BLOODY LOSER .

You make me so dread of returning home .

Seeing your face totally turns me off .

You totally make me wanna treat you as a stranger .

You are a monster .

You are a stupid dumb ass .

Its beyond words to convey how much i dislike you .

Yes i hate you .

Please just get out of my way .

It'll be best it you just leave me alone .

Leave my life too , my uptmost thanks .

I totally hate quarreling w you because it lowers me down to YOUR ground .

I seriously want to see how your children will treat you in the future , I'll see how you feel like how MY mom does .

THE WAY YOU TALK TO MY MOM TOTALLY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE CALLING YOU A BASTARD , BUT SORRY IM SPARING A THOUGHT FOR MY MOM .

I hate the fact that this list doesnt end here , And it will never .

Thankyou for letting me know that such brothers exist .

And lastly , I hate the fact that im being so harsh here , BUT TAKE THAT IN MIND , you forced me to .

From ,

Me .

Results really showed me who people really are . 

You know . It is really till a certain unexpected level that a peer can go just for the sake of marks . Yeah , i know that results do matter , in fact they are really important , but why do people have to do it to the extent that they just dont care anything except for the one marks they are trying to fight . And usually those people are the ones that always told me they dont and never cared about results . I mean , why people cant just be happy for other people ?  Well , Its not that im a victim in any of the scenario . But . Dont people realise that theres really alot more than just a results . For example , If you get high marks ,Yeah its something you thats commendable . And theres nothing wrong for you to be happy about it . But , if theres like someone around you who is just on the verge of passing , Or that person even failed . What will you really do ? Grumbling repeatedly in front of your friend for that one mark you missed to get an A1 . I know theres seriously nothing wrong for us to grumble for our careless mistake . But do we ever care about those whos just on the verge of passing , Whos sitting down there and listening to all our rantings ? Well , its okay for us to feel that way . For thats the only way we learnt from mistakes . But you really gotta know that . ENOUGH IS ENOUGH . Cmon , All you passed for a friend that failed was , "NO WHY U GOT THIS MARKS ? I THOUGHT YOU VERY CLEVER ONE ?????!!!! " , "I LuCKY ONLY LAR " and you are bloody sitting down there rumbling and rumbling .... Do you see the point here ? 

Gotta talk about another thing . 

Sometimes you just felt like , That person is so mean . Why am i getting this type of treatment ? I should get back to her one day . But , just at that moment when you wanna rebut . Just ask yourself ? Isit worth it ? Does it mean that when people do that to me , I had to do the same MEAN thing back . What people do to you , Its kind of none of your business , BUT are you sure you want to lower yourself down to that person ground just for that argument ? What you do to other people is indeed another Different thing .

people often put themselves in front of others , in fact , Always .

Its hard to deny people are not selfish , While seeing the need to protect and defend for yourself , and in the midst you had inflicted hurt to a friend . You had lost more than what you were actually trying to gain .

People always think that , OH if its other people , IM sure they will do this to me too . SO why should i go and care about how they feel . Probably i should just shun them off w some words . 

But ironically , its through such things that we learnt valuable lessons . Receiving comes from giving . Joy is a simple word so easy to define , But its never easy to fulfill . How can you expect to get something in return if you dont give ? 

But always , Action speaks louder than words . But i really hope that people around me , even me myself . Can work harder towards it .