O levels results

I typed this before receiving my results.

My results are gonna be out in less than 48 hours. Honestly , I have the whole animal kingdom in my stomach , not just butterflies. I have been trying to keep myself busy these few days after knowing that the results releasing date is confirmed. I can't afford to give some time to myself , because I will never stop wondering what am I going to be experiencing after 48 hours. I have been working really hard for this whole year. I studied. In fact , I studied like studying was the only thing I could do at that point of my life. I really hope I would be able to get what I wanted.
Well , that's was all that I hoped for.

This was typed after receiving my results.

Sadly , it didn't happen. I didn't get more than 5 distinctions. I didn't have distinctions for my sciences. Frankly , I was disappointed in myself. I thought I would have done better than this when I have already put in my best. When my results were handed to me , all the anxiety and anticipation melted into sadness and disappointment that I once thought I would possibly never get . My heart sank. It was definitely not like i was going to break down any moment but I just couldn't believe this was what I got after a whole year of hard work . I became neutral about my results and I didn't want to be upset at that point of time , i didnt want anyone to feel the same exact disappointment as me , or felt even worst . I knew that there were others who did more badly than me. I wouldn't want to affect anyone in that situation because the mood was really infectious and the atmosphere was tense. Some shed tears of joy , while the others , the exact opposite. Deep in my heart , I knew I have not accomplish what I wanted to. It sank to me the truth that this was my fruits of labour , far from my expectations and hopes. Of course , I had mixed feelings at that very moment. I knew my mother would be very satisfied with what I got. I began to ponder about my next destination and journey I am going to embark on. I knew I would be facing a dilemma between polytechnic and junior college. I went home and different thoughts bombarded my mind , swirling and twirling to remind me that I have an important decision to make. True enough , everyone around me congratulated me on the " good " results I got. They told me they were happy for me and that I would be able to qualify for most of the courses in polytechnics , and arguably a few junior colleges that I could enter without feeling I wasn't good enough. I went to work the next day and I felt really relived that I didn't look really exhausted and listless because I didn't catch enough sleep. I slept really late the night before because I was thinking hard on where I should go. It felt like I was being put in a mind battle of choosing and deciding between poly and jc and this totally revealed the indecisiveness in me . I couldn't even tell myself which was right for me despite listing out all the pros and cons for each institution. I thought really hard , considering my job prospects , my future career , my possible field of interest . I went to work the next day and I was really glad I could put this challenging thoughts aside and devote time and attention to my work . Haha probably that was the only time I was that serious in work. Talked to some colleagues and people at my workplace , they gave me advices but I still couldn't make up my mind after listening and talking to them. I felt really lost and insecure. Cousins Cẩme out to play but I couldn't really concentrate because I still have a tough decision to make. I didn't want to go on and on about the decision making process but I want to thank everyone who gave me true experiences , valued advices and opinions. I really needed that at that point of time. :). I even called some of my friends to find out about their life in different jcs and polytechnics. Be it friends , seniors , colleagues , relatives or teachers , thank you very much for listening to me . I decided to go for polytechnic instead of junior college because of various reasons. Anyways , i chose a course related to business. BTW , On a general perspective i think my results werent that bad , it's just that i didn't meet my expectations. Ok that's about it. Really glad I have decided on it and submitted my choices. Heaving a sign of relief , I am glad I can be myself again and the cloud of uncertainties in me gradually faded as I continued to enjoy the company of my cousins . Right now , I am back in Malaysia with my cousins and we are going to KL in an hour time ! Can't wait to play , shop and eat ~ shall blog with pictures when I am back in singapore ! Bye ~

New Year Post

It's a week past the new year but i suppose it isin't too late for a New Year Post now . Due to time constraint (HAHA WHATEVER) i won't be recapping and sharing all the Ups and Downs i went through this year . 2012 was a hectic and busy year because all of us were preparing for our major exams . The need to be more focus and disciplined became increasingly important as it had a direct impact on our academic results . It felt like I went through the test of endurance in 300 days (the remaining 65 days were holidays)  . Everyone became more competitive because teachers of the graduating batch always sounded like studying was the most important thing at the point of our lives , and that results were the only thing that could prove your worth and capabilities  . Every day there seemed to be something to conquer and new things waiting for us to learn and explore . Everyone aimed to climb to the top of the mountain to earn the recognition and respect for the amount of effort they have put in . The competition among peers have forced some of us to change , for the better or the worst . The ability to prioritise is highly valued and time management became an essential skill to put up with the never ending timetable . Yes we did not have time to do our favourite stuffs and to enjoy things that we used to , some of us resent and hate this life that we were living at that time . Still , the school did make an effort to provide a rather holistic curriculum in the midst of that one year so that our companion wouldn't be JUST books . Yes i'd never forget the perseverance that allowed most of us to pull through this tough journey . Putting results aside , some of us did struggle like never before in studying . If not for this major exams , you wouldn't have known how far your resilience and perseverance could have brought you through this tough battle . Being a graduating student in the year of 2012 , I've seen tears and breakdowns brought by undesirable results . I've seen people who were utterly disappointed in themselves despite going the extra mile and putting in a lot of effort . People who were burdened with bottomless pit of negative thoughts and people who were sick and tired of the emotional strain and stress that the school and the competitiveness put them through . I've seen new friendships being forged as we taught each other and revised work with each other . Also ,  friendships that faced challenges because everyone devoted most of the time to themselves and spent less quality time with their good friends .  Nonetheless , i have also witnessed significant moments of happiness , when the sense of accomplishment renewed people with strength and confidence to continue with this battle . Some of us were thankful to all the challenges that we managed to overcome in the year of 2012 , while some others can't wait for 2012 to be over . Whatever it is , no matter how arduous you thought this 2012 journey was , everything is over now .

We are going to receive our results in probably 100 hours later . We are going to experience ,perhaps the next challenge life would bring . We are going to know how our past really influences our future and determine where we will be . 

In this new year , i hope i will continue to meet really nice and good people . Even though you are not that nice , i hope we can still be normal friends because i hate having enemies . HAHA whatever . I met some nice colleagues and people during work and i really thank them for making my working life more fruitful and interesting . Sometimes the laughter was too overwhelming and i really didn't laugh like this for a long time . Not that i am someone pessimistic but it was because i met really humorous people at work who have such rare talent of cracking really funny jokes . During this period of work , i have also learnt that tolerance and acceptance go a long way to forge friendships and build relationships . Of course , love is important too . *Winks* .
Anyways , as we continue to be inspired and inspire others down the road , i hope we will continue to change and become a better individual . I have a number of resolutions but i am not going to list it here because i realised i didn't really achieve what i wanted to last year .  I am thankful i pulled through 2012 and i am grateful for the people who have taught me important life lessons and values .  Thank you and happy belated new year ! 

Work

I haven't blog since last year .. So this shall be the first official post this year ! Blogging about my part time job today . Anyways , my views on an ideal and suitable job are really simple . Firstly , since it's a part time job thus the main factor to be considered is the pay . Yes , of course we must be reasonably paid BUT another rather significant point is also to consider whether i like the job . Honestly , I wouldn't say i love my job , but i didn't detest it to the core either . Of course , a perfect job speaks of fulfilling experience , besides helping to widen one's social circle positively and allow one to put their talents and skills into good use .
Till date , i have worked for around a month and i had my share of happy and unhappy times . Sometimes i find myself questioning my real abilities during work , as i don't know why i am faced with a lot of challenges in work recently . Sometimes i am desperately seeking reasons why have i made so many mistakes in this course of time . Furthermore , to have someone to comment on my mistakes made the hesitation to quit this job even more encouraging  . I don't know why i have this thinking , it's inexplicable to some extent ... Frustrating and helpless situations during work made me succumb easily to emotions , especially when i face rare and unfortunate incidents . Sometimes i try to bury my ambivalence whenever someone asks about my job ... Hmm . That's the bad side .
Of course , i am really happy and blessed because i have made many friends and to really know the face of society . How demanding can customers get and the sense of accomplishment i got when i managed to deal with them .
Perhaps the thing that i am most grateful for , is the given opportunity to forge a unique and cherished friendship with one of my colleagues . We're now good friends .
Don't really know why but we can chat for hours and i'd never thought to meet such a nice person from work ! Thanks so much for helping me around , listening to me and being crazy with me during the much anticipated one hour break . I really enjoy the times laughing at lame jokes with her and singing crazily in washroom while we were changing clothes . People there even suspected that we were childhood sisters . Sadly , she is still schooling and have returned to malaysia . Anyways , thanks for those beautiful memories ! :)

Pictures with other colleagues and really nice people i've met ! Really enjoy the times we cracked funny jokes about customers and complaining to each other how annoying and irritating some customers are .